Memories Fades,'

Yay! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! tis whole post is dedicated jus for u? arent u touched XD heh. so all i hav to say is HAPPY 16 BIRTHDAY AIN!

AIN!

AIN!

AIN!

U R FINALLY 16! ARENT U ELATED! I waited for mine for so long, and i finally turned 16 last month. so its ur turn now! yipee! 16, means....LEGAL.....lol. LEGAL for NC-16 MOVIES! =D oso for sex la, but...movies more important! hee!

so its jus happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday and more happy birthday! =)

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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OMG. tis is so terrible horrible! my prelim 2 results suck cock. and seriously, sucks to the max. my L1R5 is a fucking 16. 16! where can i freaking go wif a 16? NO WHERE!

here are the results of my subjects.

E maths - 74 (fuck it man. wtf? one more mark to my A1 and i jus missed it. FUCK!)
Chemistry - 74 (YES FUCK IT! ANOTHER ONE!)
A maths - 66.5 (damn it, supposed to be one of my better subjects, disappointing)
Physics - 64.? (cant remember, but still its 64. so disappointing, but expected it)
History/SS - 35/31 respectively (overall 66%. omg first time did so well. better than expected gee=D)
English - 64.? (tis not included oral, so yeah b4, not bad already. expected a c5)
Chinese - 60.5 (stunner! omg i actually got a b4. top in class somemore. all hail me!)
Geography - 36 (paper 1) (she havent mark paper 2 yet. so currently its an A2, stunner too =D)

the first few subjects are freaking disappointing, but my humanities were shocking. i didnt expect to do tat well. phew, since like my humanities might be alright. ai ya, i think i spend too much time on humanities, neglect my maths and science. zzz. so hard to strike a balance eh. but still hav to work hard for both. 1 more month to the freaking O's.

oh ya, chinese seriously was a stunner. i actually got highest leh. in my class. duh. tat shows how lousy our class is. not say i nvr hand in homework, nvr listen in class still get highest. TYCO to the max. heh. like wat i said, an A1 compo. serious come out A1 compo. first time sia. 4 pages of writing if dun gif me A1, 对不起我自己 (sorry myself, or something like tat, dunno how phrase in english). 53/70. imba not. come ask me how to write compo la. heh. cant be complacent. hav to work harder, cos the final stretch is still the O's! GANBATTE!

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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today had lunch wif my family. more of a high tea rather than lunch la. ok. we went to a place in Square 2. for all those east idiots who dunno where Square 2 is, it is at Novena. if u are seriously a super duper east idiot, who dun go anywhere other than the east, then Novena is at the North-South line, which is after Toa Payoh, before Newton, if u are taking to Marina Bay, and it is before Toa Payoh, after Newton if u are taking to Jurong East. anyways, if u dunno where tat is jus go check a map.

so yeah. back to the place. its called 周庄, zhou zhuang. we went there for a high tea buffet. omg, their things there are awesomely gd. serious. very very very very very very very very nice. heh. really very nice. their dim sum = 一极棒(superb). yeah. u all should go there and hav try. oso, their service not bad. although it is very crowded, they still come and refill ur tea, change ur plates for u, clear the dishes quite fast, and oso serve the dishes quite fast.

overall, i would give it a 9/10. for its tasty food, good service, and oso their good deco. the way the deco their restaurant very nice & cosy. our table was a round table, wif seats which are cushioned. not like those boring square table. so the one point minus off is tat got too many people, not nice. hehe. so too bad. anyways, like wat mr maran always say, there is always room for improvement, so cannot gif 10/10 lata they feel complacent and then close down, and it all will become my fault. so, gd job! go there have a try someday.

oso, u all so bias against selena gomez. hate u guys. she is pretty lo. sobs. how can u all dun like her. sobs. anyways, different preference. heh! i still support her. fan of her! come on selena! work harder! she same age as us sia, or one year smaller forget liao, maybe i stand a chance? >.<

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

i bet u dunno who is she. yeah she is a new hottie i saw on youtube video. omg she is fucking chio in tat video la. first put some pictures.

OMG! isnt she hot? oh yeah. she is hot!

now the link for her video which i found her super chio.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CuE9XZJRX8

dunno y cannot upload video zzz. so enjoy watching her!

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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i swear, i swear life is out there jus to make fun of me. sian la. today get back partial of my results. first paper i got back was E maths. zzz. i so disappointed. supposed to get A1, so life decided to jus make me miss my A1, yeah, i got a bloody fucked up 74. fuck u life! y cant u let me jus get 75 and be happy! fuck u!

at least, things changed for the better. next paper was meant to be a killer for me. ss, social studies. everyone knew tat the results will be damn lousy, but still we hav to receive our results. but first, we hav to listen to khooky's reading of 2 passages. zzz so boring and felt like sleeping. come on, who will listen to a story which u dun even understand wat it means. so yeah, jus listen blindly lo. anyways, got back our results. bastien koh jie min got a fucking 39/50, the highest. before exam he always say, ai ya i dunno anything. gonna fail already. gonna fail already. sian. then he turn out to be the fucking highest. liar liar!

me? lol i got a 31/50. yeah although tat sucked, but still i m happy wif it! first time my ss paper ever got marks which the first digit was a '3'. i always got like 24, 25, 26, 27. never ever got anything beyond tat. yeah, tats how sucky my ss is. so now hav to await for hist lo, zzz so scared.

lastly was english, it was also a surprise for me, as i actually got so high. 46/50, 23 for compo and 23 for report. first time my compo actually get marks which the first digit was '2'. yes i m not lying. i was in the bloody english remedial. heh. i m gonna go hug ms raksha and like kiss her, thank her lots, as she was the marker! oye. thank u so much! muacks..

so tis 2 are the only exceptional surprising one. but there is still one more surprising one, but not in a good sense. my strongest subject, chemistry, didnt get A1. heard tat! i didnt get A1 for chemistry. if u didnt see tat clearly, I DIDNT GET A1 FOR CHEMISTRY. big enuff?

i got a freaking A2, come on la. if i dun get A1 for chemistry, wat other subjects can i get A1 for? i already said it was my best subject. haiz. i muz hav been too complacent then nvr go study. argh fuck! this sucks. i muz go start mugging for chemistry. actually for every subject. hope my otehr subjects will get good grades.

current L1R5 - 4 (chemistry and emaths)

sian.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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officialy, my exams are over. time to rejoice? or time to be sad? hm. i dunno. wif my prelim 2 over, tis jus mean tat Os are coming. zzz. i dun really think i m prepared for Os, but still, we hav to take it no matter wat eh. yeah yeah yeah. all the study..study..more studying. zzz. i feel like we totally got no life, all the way studying! zzz.

let my hair down after today's paper, went to Kbox wif Rayson, XiaoHao aka Charles and Danial. heh, had a hella out of time. sang lots of songs, sang super duper loud, until i think my ears are deaf now.

anyways, i have to say sry to someone. someone who is always there to help me solve my problems. but i jus found out tat she is oso super duper stressed out, instead of helping her solve hers, i m actually piling on to hers. i feel so guilty now. i cant stand it, y am i always causing more problems to other people when they already have their own problems. haiz. i jus dun get it, y cant i ever do things right? i jus wanna say a super duper big sry, and tat i will not bother u wif my problems anymore, i m going to gif up on life, and jus lead it numbly. sry.

SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO MINGYANG. YES U MINGYANG! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY PRESENT. ALTHOUGH IT HAS PAST SO LONG ALREADY, BUT U STILL BOUGHT FOR ME. LOL. THANK U FOR BUYING A BAG FOR ME. THANK U. WAT ELSE CAN I SAY OTHER THAN THANK U. HM. I GUESS NOTHING ELSE. THANK U!

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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yeah, i m back. finally all the stress is over. finished my exams. woohoo. yay. rejoice. prelims over, now for the final stretch, to O levels!!! haiz. time passes so fast. the last time i remembered O levels was 100+ days away. now is jus less than a month away. haiz.

actually monday still got paper, but who cares its jus physics MCQ. any how tikam oso can get correct. 50% probability. right or wong. yep. everything in life is 50% chance. either u get it or u dont. yeah. so today after my chemistry MCQ, a few of us went to LAN. feel so bad. sian.

went Zion to play. heh. me, mingyang, yuanhao, travis, dexter, junming and poh. oni mingyang and junming is go lan one. the others dun go, including me. heh. we went at 10.30, havent open, so waited outside the shop, wait wait wait wait wait and after around 1 hr, we went in at 11.30, played all the way till 6.00. LOLs. hardcore eh?

shld be going again on monday. oni if they go then i go lo. heehee. feeling much better these few days, but still. cant believe secondary school life is going to be over. 4 years jus gone so fast. all the frens, if u consider me as one, are going to separate soon. yeah. i feeling so sad. how to maintain all these frenship. couldnt we jus stay like this 4eva. haiz. how i dun wanna leave u all. i dun wanna.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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Zzz. People whom i asked bout tat girl on my friendster. She seriously not chio meh? i find she looks ok lo. Zzz. sian. where got butch lo. zzz. dun say chio la. she looks cute/average-looking. but she is not butch lo!

Finally someone found her cute. hee. anyways was jus asking. but bleah, so many people say she dun look cute/chio at all. zzz.

can't show photo. lol maybe u ask me then i put up =)

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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Thank you. Thank you for helping me. Thank you. Someone said this to me. and it made me feel all much better.

[Clement~] [我特别特: nothing good happens in my life...
_______: yeah right. what about your friends? so your friends are just idiots that step into your life and do no shit to make your life nicer lash.
[Clement~] [我特别特: how many frens are true to me
_______: humans always bear grudges and remember the bad things, they neglect the good things.
_______: if you ever tried to recall whatever good that has happened to you, and minus it off one by one, like one good thing minus off one bad thing, you will realise good things happen more than bad things.
[Clement~] [我特别特: hav u ever been fake to a fren like although u dun really like tat guy but still pretend to be ok/friendly?
_______: yeah of course. in certain circumstances you have to
_______:haha. so what? don't they still bring you laughter? don't they still bring you fun and joy? arent' they still always there when you need them? you can't trust everyone, but you can still indulge in the joy that they give you! thats what makes everyone happy!
_______: if you think they are not truthful to you, take advantage of the joy that they give you! and then you can stab them back again, if they ever want to stab you first. HAHA.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING MY DAY BRIGHTER! hope u read this.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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life.
life.
life.
how is everyone's life different eh? how? i guess everyone feel differently. some people like their life, whereas other hates it. hates it big time. yeah. guess who am i talking about? if u guessed its me, u r correct. i hate my life more than anyone else i guess. there is nothing in my life worth living for. i jus hope the world comes to an end sooner. doomsday is in 2012, according to some sources. yep. tats jus 4 more years.

from young to now, i never ever get acknowledged by my parents of doing anything right. wateva i do is definitely wrong in their eyes. when i was small, i quarrelled wif my brother, and i m always the one ended up wif cane marks on my hands and legs, while my brother will be free from all these torture. i m always the one to bear all the blame. i m nvr once in the correct. till now, when i quarrel wif my brother, i m always the one wrong. my mum will still scold me first. tat time i quarrelled wif my dad. i shall relate the whole lame story to u.

as some of u all might know what happen to my brother, so one afternoon, it was raining super super heavily. i decided to go visit him during evening, around 5 - 6. so my dad came back from work at around 5. so he asked me why i did not go visit my brother.
as it was raining, the first response came out from me was becos 'its raining very heavily'.
then my father rebutt me by saying 'issit raining tat heavily tat its flooding.'
so i was unhappy by hearing this and oso his tone sucks, so i said 'do u hav to say tat?'
then lata after dinner he 'explained' to me where i was wrong. he said tat wat i said gif him such a response. so bottomline, he still blaming me for wat i have done. blame blame blame. wateva i m always in the wrong. i have nvr ever been correct.

this life of mine sucks big time. enuff of family matters it jus sucks. now lets move on to friends. all u 'friends' of mine, yeah, maybe u all dun feel this way, but after seeing this if u all dun wanna be my 'friend' anymore, so be it, i understand.

i know i m irritating, i know i m retarded and stuffs, i know i m pissing u people off, so sry. i know sometimes i jus get too carried away. if i ever am super irritating, jus say it in my face, and ask me to fuck off or something. i will get wat u mean. someone said to me before tat i hav no friends. i agree totally wif him. wif me being so irritating, i know u people out there are jus claiming to be 'friends' but deep down u all must be cursing me, saying i m so irritaing, and tat i would rather jus die. i know its a must to hav a mask to prevent someone from getting hurt. but yeah i hav been hurt too much. so people sry for ever bothering u. jus stay away from me k?

no one in this world ever likes me, i know it, i can feel it. all these are jus masks, they are jus putting up a loving front tat they adore me, but deep down, they dont. i know i disturb someone very often. she is like a mentor to me. i disturbed her way too much. i swore to myself yesterday tat i m not gonna disturb her anymore wif my stupid loser complaints.

wat she said was true. i m jus making myself care bout every single thing. y? i think i m jus like super low self-confidence. i hav super low security. i feel tat my life hav to be perfect, wif nothing wrong. this is so ridiculous. i m jus super paranoid. sry to people who feel like i m retarded or anything, i know i am. so yeah, its me, live wif it, if not stay away from me. yes. tats the best solution. ok bye people, off to my own world, without anyone disturbing me.

i hope maybe someday someone will acknowledge me and bring me out of this misery so i will be much much cheerful. but maybe tat saviour will never come. even if he/she comes, i might have already been gone from this world.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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People. 2nd post since i started yesterday. Now nothing to do, so decided to blog some stuffs which i did today. Today is more of a happy day for me. Yeah. Happier than normal. So woke up early early early in the morning at 8.30. 8.30!!! See this Danial & 儿子. Not wake up at like 12pm. Hm, but its holiday, holidays are for u to sleep late, but i cant seem to. Normally during school days i cant wake up by myself at around 5+, but now holidays, i confirm plus guarantee plus chop will wake up around 5+. Zzz. Cant stand myeslf. UGH!

So yeah, back to what i did today, i went to meet MingYang (MY) at Tampines Mall early in the morning. Supposed meeting time is at 10am, but i reached there 10.30. Sry, the bus came too late. sry. anyways, went to TM and realised 3/4 of the bloody shops there closed. wtf. y got shopping centre 10.30 still not all open. so zzz. went to buy food eat lo, cos i havent eat breakfast. then by 11+, xiaohao smsed me, so we went back to TM. main thing we went so early in the first place was to get Dexter, Travis and me presents! Yeah, bday presents. Although mine is like almost exactly one month. but still, i m going to get a bag! thank you MY.

So then got Dexter a wallet, travis a plushie toy which says 'YUMMY'. Then, lata went to Tampines Safra for bowling! not tat good today, got pressurised by the people beside us. they all professional bowler, hit like near 200. so zzz. anyways, played 2 games, didnt even hit 100. bleah. so went to the lan beside it lata. oops 4got to mention. my 儿子 aka Louis aka YongKang came oso. Lol, dunno y he oso wan come, although he dunno anyone there, but still we welcome u! so we went lan to play dota, cos the others wan play oso. i feel so bad. jus went Zion yesterday cos MY help pay my membership. zzz i actually went to Zion. OMG OMG OMG!

Played dota for 3 games. First game: xiaohao + dexter VS me + MY + travis
Second game: me + MY VS xiaohao + dexter + travis
Third game: MY + travis VS me + dexter + travis

So yeah, i won 2, lost 1. then lata we left 13 mins, not enuff for dota, so we go play CS for fun. Lol, so lame la, then dexter got super duper duper high. ohyeah, dexter put on braces already! lol. so funny! haha, he was like covering from us, dun wan to let me see. zzz. but eventually he jus showed it. hehe.

school reopening soon. so fast. one week past. back for more exams. wish me good luck.

still i cant seem to forget ______. although i hav been trying so hard, not thinking bout _____, trying to force myself not to think bout ______, deleted the photos in my phone. but i still cant seem to forget. how to make myself forget? how how how? ah. i should not hav even get myself into this deep shit. ugh. i hate it,

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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People...welcome me back? Anyone? i m back into the blogging world, as i feel bored. I want to blog about wat i feel now, feeling down. feeling sucky. and all kind of stuffs. i wan to be like out of this world quick. like wat my title says, fade right back into darkness. yeah.

So why do i feel like tat eh? tonnes of things. tonnes of stupid things i dun wanna talk about. no one can freaking stop me from thinking bout all these silly stuffs. i wanna jus scream it out loud. but i dun wan anyone to hear me. i wan to be like OMG OMG OMG. but who can i confide to? anyone out there willing to listen to my complains? anyone out there?? if there is pls sms me or something. but most probably i wont say to anyone.

To all people out there who actually care for me. hm i wonder how many? none? yeah wateva. i jus going thru some emo period. feel kinda sucky. family life sucks, my own life sucks, school life sucks. tell me something which don't suck. hm? yeah even i suck. like wateva. anyways i get addicted to one song. although its an old song, but the lyrics suit me well.

Simple Plan - Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Yep and tat concludes my post. the lyrics are so so so so so so so meaningful. yep it suits me so well.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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