Memories Fades,'

life.
life.
life.
how is everyone's life different eh? how? i guess everyone feel differently. some people like their life, whereas other hates it. hates it big time. yeah. guess who am i talking about? if u guessed its me, u r correct. i hate my life more than anyone else i guess. there is nothing in my life worth living for. i jus hope the world comes to an end sooner. doomsday is in 2012, according to some sources. yep. tats jus 4 more years.

from young to now, i never ever get acknowledged by my parents of doing anything right. wateva i do is definitely wrong in their eyes. when i was small, i quarrelled wif my brother, and i m always the one ended up wif cane marks on my hands and legs, while my brother will be free from all these torture. i m always the one to bear all the blame. i m nvr once in the correct. till now, when i quarrel wif my brother, i m always the one wrong. my mum will still scold me first. tat time i quarrelled wif my dad. i shall relate the whole lame story to u.

as some of u all might know what happen to my brother, so one afternoon, it was raining super super heavily. i decided to go visit him during evening, around 5 - 6. so my dad came back from work at around 5. so he asked me why i did not go visit my brother.
as it was raining, the first response came out from me was becos 'its raining very heavily'.
then my father rebutt me by saying 'issit raining tat heavily tat its flooding.'
so i was unhappy by hearing this and oso his tone sucks, so i said 'do u hav to say tat?'
then lata after dinner he 'explained' to me where i was wrong. he said tat wat i said gif him such a response. so bottomline, he still blaming me for wat i have done. blame blame blame. wateva i m always in the wrong. i have nvr ever been correct.

this life of mine sucks big time. enuff of family matters it jus sucks. now lets move on to friends. all u 'friends' of mine, yeah, maybe u all dun feel this way, but after seeing this if u all dun wanna be my 'friend' anymore, so be it, i understand.

i know i m irritating, i know i m retarded and stuffs, i know i m pissing u people off, so sry. i know sometimes i jus get too carried away. if i ever am super irritating, jus say it in my face, and ask me to fuck off or something. i will get wat u mean. someone said to me before tat i hav no friends. i agree totally wif him. wif me being so irritating, i know u people out there are jus claiming to be 'friends' but deep down u all must be cursing me, saying i m so irritaing, and tat i would rather jus die. i know its a must to hav a mask to prevent someone from getting hurt. but yeah i hav been hurt too much. so people sry for ever bothering u. jus stay away from me k?

no one in this world ever likes me, i know it, i can feel it. all these are jus masks, they are jus putting up a loving front tat they adore me, but deep down, they dont. i know i disturb someone very often. she is like a mentor to me. i disturbed her way too much. i swore to myself yesterday tat i m not gonna disturb her anymore wif my stupid loser complaints.

wat she said was true. i m jus making myself care bout every single thing. y? i think i m jus like super low self-confidence. i hav super low security. i feel tat my life hav to be perfect, wif nothing wrong. this is so ridiculous. i m jus super paranoid. sry to people who feel like i m retarded or anything, i know i am. so yeah, its me, live wif it, if not stay away from me. yes. tats the best solution. ok bye people, off to my own world, without anyone disturbing me.

i hope maybe someday someone will acknowledge me and bring me out of this misery so i will be much much cheerful. but maybe tat saviour will never come. even if he/she comes, i might have already been gone from this world.

May darkness engulf me and never be seen again
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